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Thursday, 30 September 2010

Crusty old woman.

Today has been very hot here so we decided on a day by the pool. The loungers were mostly empty. No towels keeping places so we thought our luck was in and settled down. I had a lovely swim all on my own. The moment was dented slightly when someone switched on the music but it was redeemed a moment later when I realized it was a Queen record so all was well....I swam lazily up and down and then went to dry off...
Minutes later the music changed, a man started shouting and people arrived. We had stumbled upon a scene I thought not to exist anyone. An organized exercise routine in the pool. All women, they stood waving their arms to music whilst a very energetic girl came to demand that I join in. When I shook my head she then said
"You don't want to get wet eh? ". We only coped for a few more minutes before decamping and going for a drink in the bar a long way from the noise.
Am I getting old and crusty? Well old certainly though most of the women were at least my age. The fact that this had been organized was not the problem. It was the fact that they tried to get all the people who had gone for a quiet swim involved and the haranguing of us all was dreadfully embarrassing for some who had just gone for a quiet life. This is not a holiday camp. It's a very good hotel.
Next time we get to the pool and find it empty we shall know why and take evasive action.


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Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Day one and a bit

Yesterday was such a day of missed connections and crossed wires that it's better to just forget it. Today was so perfect that it's been wiped out now. Its still hot here and we have a lovely balcony that gets the morning sun. So we had a quiet start to the day whilst I did the unpacking. At lunch time we rallied and went off for the first sangria of the hols...followed by the hotel BBQ. Which in fact was a paella made in front of us by a very good chef.
We then slept very soundly for a couple of hours..we soon get into siesta mood here.
I can get onto the Internet by using 3G on the iPhone but as yet the wifi has eluded me. I tried to pay for it at reception but they said to do it on line. The paradox completely escaped them that in order to pay on line you first had to get on line! I will keep trying.
I've had the first swim and the pool is much quieter than in former years, possibly because it's not yet half term!
It's been a perfect start to the holiday. Long may it continue. Well for three weeks anyway.


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Monday, 27 September 2010

Out of order

The last post was a draft only just posted. We are not at another air port so soon.


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Airport problems

We arrived at Exeter airport at 6am this morning having left home at four. We got on the plane and were told of the problems of driving over France. This could delay us a little.
An hour later we were told the real problem. Someone had closed the door badly and it had had a leak of gas which meant we couldn't fly.
We all sat on the plane, noise levels rising along with the temperature.
Eventually we were asked to get off taking all out luggage with us. Off we went back to the departure lounge. We found a table and some companions and waited. And waited. The captain came to explain. It was technical No way of knowing how long it was going to take.
They failed to fix it and another plane was sent for. Eventually we took off around three pm.
We are half way there. We are very late for checking into out hotel. We have no way of knowing if our hire car is waiting for us. It's been a very long day so far. David and I need our nap!


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More chaos.




Late last night I attempted to join a wifi network. I paid 25 Euros. They asked me again so I paid again thinking the first transaction had failed. Today I expected access but got none. What I now need to know is if they have taken £50 from me.
I went to reception to find out. Chaos now reigns. Torrents of Spanish were flung around. It's great to spread peace as I travel through life.

Friday, 24 September 2010

Three weeks away

I have been trying to finish off my Scrabble matches all week but of course this is the week its been closed down. So if any of you are reading this please excuse my absence. We are ready for a rest. David is very good at getting us flights in the middle of the night so I was relieved when he said this one was in the morning. Ha! Its at 8am so we have to be at Exeter Airpot for 6am and that means we set off from here at 4am!
We are going to Majorca which is only a two hour flight but then we have the drama of finding our hire car. Last year the renta car base was miles away so we couldn't find it again on the day we were leaving! Then we have to get onto the motor way on the wrong side of the road. We did do that one year but the friendly locals soon put us right with gestures and hooting!
Arriving at the hotel is like revisiting an old friend. Its lovely but we are always quite early so we settle down for a drink of the local brew. or three. The last time I unpacked when we got back to our room but the next day I couldn't find anything!
After all that we really do need a good rest!

Thursday, 23 September 2010

Brave new world?

Busy day ending with a long governors meeting. We have a very small primary school which has been under threat of closure for years. After a long period of having acting heads we finally appointed one of our own last year and she is doing extremely well.
But the meetings are tedious sometimes not through anyones fault but because of all the rules and regs that have to be worked through. Everyone has their say and it takes hours!
Tonight the new head used a smart white board to give us all the data.. It was like a giant iPad. Amazingly easy to use and interactive. I am repeating now the old mantra. "If only I'd had that when I started in teaching."
Or. Even worse. " They don't know they are born."
So much that is new.. children should gallop ahead. But sometimes don't because as well as the techno revolution they also have drugs, Aids and the rest of the cycle of unrest and despair .. I hope it will all end in a brave new world. In fact I pray for it.


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Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Village life.

This year both of my husband's sons and my son have come to live fairly close. Today David was lunching with his son at one of our excellent hotels through the leafy lanes and I thought I might take my son to the pub in the village that was my local before I got married again.
I didn't make it in the end but my son went to the pub in his own and rang me when he got back.
"mum everybody knows you!".
Well of course they do but he thought it was just church members not the local boozers as well.
As it happens one of the village clubs is named after me...it's an investment club but it's main function is to see just how much everyone can drink in a night.
For a small village there is a lot going on. For a fee of five pounds you can go to the pictures once a week, join in lots of Bingo games, go ballroom dancing, play snooker, they even have a writers club. And of course I know more or less everyone. When I became an ordinand they were supportive in a way I did not expect.
He then went on to tell me the names of all those he had met today. Friend or foe was what he wanted to know? But I had to break the news to him that they were all friends...no foes in my job...which is just as it should be. I liked living in a small village but it's not for everyone. You have to be very very careful. There is a saying here that someone rings a bell every five years and they all change partners. And it's nearly true. You walk a tightrope not knowing who has been married to who and indeed who fathered who. If you can negotiate your way through this you've cracked it.


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Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Sun power soon please

The trip to the bank this morning was successful. My account is not dormant any more and I managed to extract some money from them. But not until I produced my passport and a bank card. It's a strange world we live in now and this feeling was heightened by some strange happenings on Twitter which had been hacked into during the morning.
We are increasingly living in a technical world which would have been entirely incomprehensible even a short time ago. But the stuff which I enjoy and which makes communication so easy is also the stuff that encourages fraud and theft by online geniuses.
And it all needs fueling. All this electricity which keeps our computers running has to come from somewhere and a world with no TV, no iPods etc is now unthinkable, so the news that they are working on a way to produce electricity by using sun light is just what we need. We did have solar heating in our first house and they are making strides with heat from deep in the ground so sunlight to fuel electricity would be an answer to a prayer . Let's hope it comes to fruition before we use all our oil.


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Monday, 20 September 2010

Banking and all that jazz


We are going away at the weekend so I am trying to get all my ducks in a row. First I paid my road tax which expires whilst we are away. They wouldn't take the new Visa debit so I had to use a credit card. Then I realised that this bill would arrive when I was out of the country. I rang the bank full of misgivings. On this occasion they lived up to their ad. They let me pay it off over the phone and also made a note that the person spending my money in Majorca was me. Helpful banking. So far.
Much greater test in the morning. I have to find the Spanish Bank which has taken over my old building society and persuade them to give me access to my dormant account. I shall be armed with driving license and passport. I've even got my wedding license out since I've changed my name since they last saw me. This could take a while!
Then like an idiot I attached my iPhone to my computer to put a new audio book on it. Big mistake. Took hours to update it. It had been lying in wait to pounce on the unwary. It's been a long day so far. Further complicated by my attempts to syncronise everything





Sunday, 19 September 2010

iPad Downloads

In a slightly barmy moment I downloaded Kindle to the iPad. It works very well indeed and set me off on several daft searches for stuff I might want to read on holiday. Next weekend we set off for three weeks of sun in Majorca. It's a lovely quiet spot and we are looking forward to it. We know there's not much English TV because we've been before so I have been loading games and videos onto the iPad. I will never be bored with this lot at my finger tips. My husband has an I book player...this in itself saves so much heavy stuff in the suitcase it's worth it's weight in gold. Not carrying books means I can take more clothes!
Amongst the kindle books I spotted the Tony Blair book for £7. A bargain so I downloaded it instantly and told David that I had it. Too late he'd already bought it.
"But," he said "The dam thing has seized my reader up...I can't get it to go past the tenth chapter".
I said he could borrow mine and then we went on to other things. I put the food in the oven, he retreated to his study.
Moments later he reappeared. "Ive done it." he said beaming. "It works again." I wanted to know how he'd done it. Brute force and ignorance. He had hurled it across the room. Now works beautifully again.
In the meanwhile following an experience the last time we were abroad I downloaded the Lectionary. You never know when you might need a collect. Or two.


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Saturday, 18 September 2010

Saturdays off

Today has been a much better day than it seemed it was going to. The move next-door was all over by ten o'clock! A minimum of vans and young men arrived and were extremely efficient. Thank goodness for no work on Saturday.
My son also arrived bringing my post from the house I gave them in Portscatho. I have been very lazy at changing my address on things but I must do better in future. As we are away next weekend Adrian came to find out what we needed to be done in our absence.
Crispin is going to Aunty Vals and our cat Tosh goes to a cattery because no one would volunteer to look after a semi feral animal. Two new young. female cats moved in today too...I hope our big bruiser doesn't give them hell!
Adrian asked to borrow our wheelbarrow in our absence so then got anxious that our new neighbors would think he was pinching the barrow whilst we were away. So we had to do introductions. First time he approaches in his van they may have some anxieties. White van man in Cornwall is a statement of contempt. The sun is out. The sermon typed up and printed so all is well. For the time being.

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Friday, 17 September 2010

My married friend, the Roman priest.

I did not want to talk about the Pope or Catholicism at all and yet here we are on day 2 of the Popes visit and I will share some of my thoughts mostly because they conflict with each other as well as with much of what is being written.
When I was child the Catholics in my street were treated like pariahs by the non Catholic community.They were thought strange creatures not because they went to church every Sunday because we all did that but because they were frightened of their priests. Rules were laid down and had to be followed. I had a boyfriend who once ran away down the road sooner than being spotted by the local priest. Roman Catholics were strange figures and very much misunderstood I think.
The notion of celibacy for priests did not help. They had no human relationships inside their communities which a spouse and children would have provided.
My early views were based on prejudice as well as observation so actually meeting some in later life was an eye opening experience. I have written elsewhere in his blog about my friend but what I did not say was that my friend  was that very rare thing in the Catholic Church, a married priest.
They do exist.
He had in fact been an Anglican priest,and had married before going over to Rome. The church could not break up his marriage so he had been accepted into the faith complete with baggage but had never been a parish priest. That would have been going too far. He had written his books and taught in seminaries.
When I met him his wife had died and he was happy to talk about her and about his relationship with her which had not been a celibate one.
I now know several Roman priests and would never dream of speculating on their state.
I do know though that in any discussion of family, sex, the role of women in the church they all address the subject with open minds and generosity.
Any institution like the Church of Rome or the Anglican church is going to have it's flaws, it's problems,and it's dilemmas but the people inside them are still people. As priests we have to try to demonstrate the love of God to all men. All of my Roman colleagues do that in abundance and I love all of them dearly.
One day a Pope may come who can address the issue with love and joy. Because that's what we were given this huge privilege for. Thank you God.

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Thursday, 16 September 2010

Bonfire in it's last stage.

We hope it's not going on tomorrow.



Huge bonfire now

The need of the two young people who have bought the house next door is to start fresh. Everything must go! They are moving in tomorrow and have torn out every living thing in their garden. I do understand it to a certain point but this was a living farm till 25 years ago. Our gardens were fields and are separated by beautiful Cornish hedges. Most of their hedge went at the beginning of the week so I had to scream to stop them cutting ours down too......a bit late I'm afraid...some had already gone.
This morning there is huge bonfire in progress. This is unlawful as I know from my time at Gerrans when bonfires in our cemetery got out of hand on more than one occasion.
It is windy and most of the smoke is going in their direction but they will be left with a core of ash that will smolder for a long time. It is a few yards from our fence....the bit I've so far saved. My husband has linked up our hosepipe and we are on red alert!
What we have seen this week is vandalism. Beautiful fir trees, glorious flowering cherry, roses and rosemary, thyme, sage, old apple trees still bearing fruit all gone on the bonfire. The need to obliterate everything that has gone before has somehow taken over from common sense...we thought we knew this man, we certainly know his parents but the image now emerging bodes ill for our future relationship. In a county where trees are needed badly, to simply kill them all off feels like desecration .
Since writing that this morning they started on the inside stuff. An entire kitchen was put on the tractor and dumped on top of the smoldering verbiage. That woke it up. Red flames are shooting into the sky and black smoke like a pall hangs over the field. I assume the ancient cast-iron Aga is safe. For the time being anyway.
We are braced for the next shock.


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Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Helpful banking


I used to love my bank. It did have something to do with the fact that my husband had been a senior manager with them but they were a good firm to work for and they pulled out all the stops when he died suddenly.
Now it is a different story and it's not just one bank its all of them. They are all difficult.
I recently tried to change my passcode when I did on line shopping. Without Tesco Direct there are weeks when we would not eat so I use my cards a lot on line and am glad they are protected. The entire saga would take pages so suffice it to say that at one stage I ended up with about four passwords and had no idea which one they were asking for so kept getting locked out. The helpline was not good. Patronizing young things assumed I was too old and too dim and never actually listened to what I was trying to tell them.
I, fingers crossed ,hope I have now resolved that problem. Though I still have two pass codes .
Today was a different problem, different bank. Money I had tucked away in what was then a building society was needed. I hadn't touched the account for about five years and it was different. All the rules had changed...it wasn't even English!
I had it set up as a phone account with a passcode to enable me to transfer money from there into my current account. Easy it used to be!
This morning all I got from the phone was that I had to put my card number into the phone. I don't even have a card! Not for that account any way. After a frustrating few moments I got a real human being. He asked me for my card number and then told me that nothing was possible without it. Nearly at screaming pitch now.....I am not dragging you lot through the whole thing but I am told that my account is now dormant.....no wonder they don't want me to use it!
I have to go back into Truro and talk to the people in the bank. Not sure which day I am going in next week but I may have to ask for prayers for that day. Not for me but for the other person at the receiving end.

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Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Weather and the septic tank

It has been the most appalling weather today. The wind was forceful. It was dark and chilly and then it started raining too. It was certainly autumnal and it got me sorting out clothes. This morning it was quite possible that I might put on a pair of socks it was so bad. So this was the day our new neighbours had booked to have have the septic tank we share, emptied. Oh what joy!
I spent a happy morning sorting out winter woolies and carefully putting all the sun tops and swimming stuff in the spare room. We are going away at the end of next week. It wasn't quite the start of the packing but it took our minds off what was going on outside.
The wagon, otherwise known as the honey wagon arrived and my husband went out to see if he could help. Bad mistake. There was a blockage and it needed several men and the right rods to get that running free. All this time water was pouring down their faces and I tried very hard not to notice...along with the smell and the fact that stuff was being blown by the wind.....
My dearly beloved finally got back into the house very wet and bringing with him a piece of paper.
"What's that?" I asked. "I've told them I'll pay." he said.
"Well it's only fair. They could only have contributed a tea cup."
Fair enough. Good day all round.


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Monday, 13 September 2010

Clergy lunches

About once every three months or so we have lunch together. It's is mostly the C of E but today we had a congregational and a Methodist as well. Last time I was the only one in a dog collar but this time I was the only one without.. However as it was at my local every one there knows me anyway. Behind the bar was a young woman whom I'd married a couple of months earlier and whose baby I'd christened at the end of the service. There were screams, hugs , kisses and news was exchanged whilst my colleagues looked on in amazement..
We covered all the usual ground. How to get more people into church. How to really extend pastoral help to those who need it without lumbering them with the visitor from hell. Future events were sign posted and one or two old scores revisited.. A good time was enjoyed by all and I came home extremely grateful that I had no more meetings today whilst the incumbent of this parish had three more!
Sometimes it's worth only being an assistant priest.


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Saturday, 11 September 2010

Trees with bad hair cuts

Off I went this morning to do a mornings prayer and reflection at St Just. I came back very happy and tranquil helped by using taize on the iPad. I got home to the entire fence down one side looking as if the barber had definitely got up with a grudge.
I have new neighbors. The old ones were just that and their garden had been sadly neglected. The new young ones tore out trees and shrubs during the week and I had a word with them on the subject of leaving the hedge as a wind break.
This is not a short garden hedge. This is almost 100 yards of fence.
I know the new neighbors. Their mother is a friend and I had asked them to please leave as much of the hedge as they could. They said it was just going to be trimmed!
This trim has taken at least half of it down. They used cutting machinery and did it from a tractor....the result is that all my fruit trees have now no protection against the fierce winds that buffet us for much of the year.
The worst was that they have also cut down our hedge. The one I have prevented our Gardner from trimming back for the last four years....
It's not the best way to build a good neighborly relationship.


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Friday, 10 September 2010

Wind

It's been back to normal at Tregear Vean today. By normal I mean that it's blowing a hooley. I had a walk around the perimeter of our field earlier with the gardener John, trying to persuade him that wind cover was far more important than tidiness. He was more interested in keeping all the plants under control. The hedge on one side is a typical Cornish hedge with stone under all the wild flowers.
On the other three sides it's shrubbery now nicely thickened to give us a wind barrier. At this time of the year it's full of sloes and blackberries and is very beautiful with rose hips, huge and red. It is in the middle of the rose bit that my new neighbors have torn a large hole. They mistook die back for death. It's an easy mistake to make. Just was well they don't see many old people.

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Thursday, 9 September 2010

My Roman friend

When I was an ordinand I went on holiday to Madeira with a tour group and found myself on the bus with the only other single person on it. On the second day we visited a wine cellar to taste the The local brew. Sitting together sipping he asked me what I did.
"I am an ordinand" I said and got ready to explain what that meant. He held up his hand at the first words.
"No need to explain. I've been one."
He was a Roman Catholic priest and that conversation was the start of an extraordinary friendship. Over the next two weeks we discussed everything important to both of us. He turned out to be a Bible scholar who had written books on it which are still being used in seminaries both here and in the USA.
He set about teaching me with great good humor. Over several glasses of wine most evenings he acted out various Biblical stories with humor and gusto.
Our holiday over, we stayed in touch. That fact that I was a female about to be priested didn't put him off one bit. He sent me his books and I still use many of them in sermon prep to this day.
He was a lovely man who hoped that one day women priests could be ordained into his church too. He paved the way for several more good friendships with Roman priests. They are all worried about the Popes visit only because they fear that there will be demos and they don't want the present atmosphere of local cordiality to be shattered.
I pray that all goes well next week as do they all. We have more in common than what separates us.


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Tuesday, 7 September 2010

New neighbors

Our new neighbors are taking the place of a dearly loved man who died last year and his bereaved and stunned wife. They are working on it before moving in. I called around to see them yesterday and they were very young and very pleased with their first real home together. I am due to marry them the year after next so they are not rushing.
This morning the tractor arrived. By lunch time the whole landscape on their side had changed. Several large trees were uprooted . A digger joined in the fun. We can now see into a garden that was a mystery until now. In fact we can see for miles...it's a lovely view.
The hen pen has gone. That means the cats absorbing hobby of chicken gazing has gone too.
We are hoping for an Olympic size swimming pool. Plus a bar and possibly a snooker room. I am not being as sarky as I sound. We have had plans for a snooker room in our barn for the last four years. Our sons have given it up as lost but their interest will awaken now.
Change is a fact to life. The old order gives way etc etc. We can see now what is happening next door. Before we had to rely on our ears!


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Monday, 6 September 2010

Charity

Last week I posted a picture on Twitter of babies lying covered in flies in the aftermath of the Pakistan flooding. Last night there was a second post. A reporter had found the family and sent a long and detailed account of what has happened to the family. They lost everything in the flood including the fathers job. They have no home, no food, no clean water. Nothing in fact. These people are going to die. Disease could spread rapidly in these conditions and it's very important that help is sent to them.
This morning I had a couple of visitors. Members of the local church talking about a day of prayer on Saturday. I said I wanted part of the morning to pray for Pakistan.
I was dismayed by their response. They had all the stock arguments particularly about sending money. How could we be sure it got to the right place. There were a lot of rich people there. Were they looking after their own? What about their involvement in terrorism? Could we trust Muslims anyway?
The people are suffering. What has gone before is not really Important. I spent ten years teaching Asian children In Rochdale to speak English. They are all individuals and their families are starving, in dirty conditions. Of course we have to help them. I have sent money and will send more and on Saturday we will pray for the whole country. Please if you can, join in the prayer if nothing else. Pray works.


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Sunday, 5 September 2010

Sunday roast

It's the first Sunday we have eaten at home for a while. If I'm out most of the morning then it's easier to go to the pub. This mornIng though I had only one service so before leaving I prepared a lamb roast and put it in the bottom oven to wait. My husband gets home from his service much earlier than me so he then transfers to the top oven.
This works. By the time I get back he's got the potatoes and the vegetable prepared and cooking.
He's not good on sauces or gravy so those are mine.
So this meal is a joint effort. I have a pudding of raspberries, meringue and cream to sort out. Good smells are coming out of the kitchen and my husband is decanting the wine. Heaven. Here on earth.


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Location:Truro,United Kingdom

Saturday, 4 September 2010

Grey Day

We have hardly seen Falmouth all day but a quiet day was the best bet once I'd got tomorrows sermon printed out. I am back in Gerrans tomorrow. The last time I did the 10am service there was Christmas day so it's long overdue.
Gerrans was my original parish, the one from which I was ordained so there's plenty of baggage. I know everyone far too well so I get surrounded from the moment I walk in which is good in many ways but doesn't give you much time for quiet reflection. Both church wardens were my friends long before I was ordained... We have history going back twenty odd years in one case.. The feeling of astonishment that I am now a visiting priest exists for both them and me. Who ever would have thought it. Here on the Roseland we have a small team and I am the dogs body. I visit all the parishes during the year and so know almost everyone.
Tomorrow is a little different though. I will be preaching to my son. I gave him and his partner my house in the village a year ago but they have only just moved in full time. It will be I think the first time he has actually been to one of my services. No doubt it will be even stranger for him than it is for me. But I can do this. With the help of God.


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Location:Truro,United Kingdom

Friday, 3 September 2010

RIP Cyril Smith

The news of Cyrils death has brought back memories from the deep dark times when I was a little girl in Rochdale. He lived just round the corner. We went to the same Unitarian Sunday School. He was much older than me but I do remember that he was always very big. The reason for that was that his mother Eva was a fantastic cook. Made the best potato pies in the street.
He kept an eye on me for my mother when I started going to the youth club. He was a brilliant table tennis player as a young man. His political career varied. He started as a liberal, came over to the Labour Party and won his first election in my ward when he was only just over the age to vote. He came to my house to give me a pair of nylons...much sought after in those days as a thank you present because I had helped get the votes in.
His return to the Liberals did not please any of the Labour Party but I was glad for him when he became an MP. I went off to college soon afterwards.
We only met occasionally after that. The last time was in Chelmsford when he was campaigning. He always stayed the same essentially...and stayed in the same house in Rochdale refusing to move for man many years whilst the rest of us moved swiftly on. Enjoy your time in heaven Cyril. Reunited with your mother and hopefully her pies.

I will light a candle for you tomorrow. Now that you are up there you will be amazed at that statement and even more that I am now a priest. May the candle light your way and the grace of the Lord be with you.

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Thursday, 2 September 2010

The oak tree moth


Apparently what I found eating my oak this morning was an oak tree moth. Thank you Michael who sent me a clipping from the Times. It was indeed what I'd seen earlier. John the Gardner has been put on red alert and we have sprayed the other tree which is sporting it's first small green acorns. How it got to here from the Home Counties I don't know but John thinks it's a LOndon conspiracy and I reckon he could be right.

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To kill or not to kill


Relax. I am not thinking about people but my first trip round the garden this morning has released the latent killer in me. There stands a very pretty small oak tree. It was fine yesterday but this morning it is half eaten. At first I thought the deer were back but the culprits were all too visible. Furry long green and yellow caterpillars were munching hundreds of them! At their present rate the tree would be gone by lunch time.
This problem is a long standing one for me. In the days when I flirted with Buddhism I never killed anything. The result was a spider infested house and roses that never got as far as blooming. Green fly, slugs, snails they are all a problem and I still can't actually kill them directly. But it depends on what damage I find when I go out in the morning. If I'm cross I deal with them severely. The snails go over the hedge not into someone else's garden but onto the road. If they can move fast enough they can get home. I know that's cowardly but it works for me..
This morning I shook off all the caterpillars into a bag. Then what? I still don't know but the tree has been sprayed with an anti bug chemical. The ethics of killing small insects has always been dodgy for me but sometimes it feels like war and then my latent warrior springs into being and I kill. I am a bad person on those days!
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