Domestic violence.

I grew up in an abusive household. I witnessed many scenes of domestic violence as a girl. As I became a teenager it was then my turn.

It is ugly and very embarrassing....as the victim you feel deep shame even though you can do nothing about it.

So strong is this shame that you take great care to protect the bully and to keep it all secret. I spent much of my time in the grammar school as a girl desperately inventing reasons for black eyes , sore wrists etc...it became a way of life to cover it all up....

If headlines hit the paper and someone we think we know becomes the focal point of outrage, then the best thing is to stay quiet I think....no one welcomes the beam of publicity into their lives in such a dramatic way...

There are many people living lives of quiet desperation who really need support but not the sort of feeding frenzy produced by the press on these occasions.

I pray for all those on the receiving end of violence....that they find a way of stopping it without the shame that goes with it. Lord, hear my prayer.

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Pass the hanky!

Atishoo . Lets get this straight from the beginning.....I'm back in sneezing mode. I went to bed sneezing last night and I got up sneezing this morning with some nasal eruptions in between!
This is not exactly news.....I have been sneezing on and off since our first day in Hawaii. Looking around a tropical paradise was almost worth the paroxysms. But now I'm home it's still a regular event most days.
Just now it's several times a day!
I sneezed during a communion service on Sunday and told everyone I was not infectious....it was just hay fever. This year there is no "just" about it. It has became a several times daily event over which I have no controll. And it's been going on since March! .
We now have Spring flowers out with summer ones. Camellias side by side with roses! There's no argument here...the seasons are topsy turvey .
There could be much worse things happening to me I know...for my age I am really very fit...but my nasal passages getting seriously disturbed several times a day leaves my voice croaking, my hankies soaking and my dignity diving. .I am trying not to mention the nether regions.......
Please let it all settle down soon....you know who I'm taking to.....if you would be so kind.......Atishoooo

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Approaching the solstice.

I have a busy week. Looking at my diary is daunting! So I'm not sure where to start. It's all good, I'm really not complaining but as we approach the end of the school year lots of things are screaming for attention. Teachers tend to get married etc when they have a full six weeks stretching out ahead of them so getting all the loose ends tied up becomes paramount.

The approach to the summer festival of light, the solstice has always been special for me...coinciding roughly with my birthday.

When I lived in North Wales I used to climb the mountain on that evening to the flat top, where there had once been standing stones...it was possible on a good day to watch the sun go down in the same cleft in the Snowdonia range of mountains. It was in its own way a sort of pagan magic....but I never thought of it like that. It was just another example of the glory of God apparent all around us!

I am now too old to climb a mountain even if there was such a thing in Cornwall....but the essence of that magic remains.

As we approach the solstice this year I and everyone else I suppose, am praying that midsummer actually arrives soon.

So far apart from a couple of good days it has been cold, gloomy and damp.....it would be good to have something to celebrate at the end of the week, if only being able to go outside without a jacket on!

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Persistent calls from abroad!

Sorry if I'm getting old and crabby but I return to the problem of insistent intrusive phone calls!

I know when I pick up a phone, who is on the line. It has caller display. If it says "out of area " or "number withheld " it's usually from a call centre a long way away.

Often when I pick one up the line clicks off as soon as I speak....this in itself is annoying but even more annoying is when someone tells you his name and says he will only take two minutes of your time.

When he then asks you how you are then you know your in trouble....it does not have the soothing effect they think it should have.

When I have tried to be accommodating the call is always at least ten minutes, sometimes longer so now I just say I'm too busy!

Yesterday we had a very persistent young man..

He talked rapidly whilst I was preparing a cream sauce for sea food. I could not speak right then. He just carried on talking so I switched him off.

Later after lunch I was having a nap....much needed right now...the same young man woke me up twice.

Very irritated I told him I was not going to answer any questions. He just talked straight over me! Twice!

Later in the after noon he tried again....so four calls in a day!

Why do people not realise that this alienates people seriously. I surely have the right to refuse to take part in surveys on the phone. If I don't want to talk that should be it...yesterday's young man simply talked right over my protests. Therefor even when I do have time I will never take part in any of their two minute surveys....

Marketing people please take note. Badgering people by telephone is never going to work!

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Acts of Kindness

This weeks gospel is about the simple acts of kindness  to Jesus by a sinner!  Its message is a powerful one...and one which reminded me of an old lady I met some time ago on placement before my ordination.
This is an extract from tomorrows sermon.

The old lady was in her chair and I made her a cup of tea,  she sipped it and looked at me carefully before saying much.....then she said. “I’m guessing they’ve sent you because they know I want to talk.”

I had no idea about that but settled myself down.....she did have a lot to say.

She spoke about her husband....how they had met, her  eyes beamed with joy as she described their first meeting......he had been a handsome young man and he was on a motor bike....they didn’t have to wear helmets in those days and his hair was all tangled and he tried to straighten it.... as he looked at her......

It was love at first sight......she went home that night utterly convinced she might never see him again but knowing  that she had met the man she wanted to marry. 

He returned the next day and they did marry and she helped him with his work....

He worked for Mission to Sea farers.....traveling up and down the coast, helping anyone who needed it, raising money and taking services when asked.

Her eyes shone as she described him and his life. She could not understand what he saw in her......she said she was just ordinary, not pretty, not rich  but he loved her too and they got married. 

One night after supper he got a phone call. There were crew being taken off a stricken tanker , he was needed.

He went out immediately on his bike and his wife got a phone call during the night. He had been in an accident. He was in hospital.  She wept when she told me that though they’d worked on him all night he died the next day.

That had been 40 years ago......she had carried on his work all that time until now it was time to rest. 

She sighed....”I was never as good as him...he was a saint compared to me but I did my best.” 

I was touched by her story.....even more so when I heard that she had died within half an hour of my visit....

She of course had not been a sinner , there is no parallel between her and Mary  Magdelene except their need to comfort, to be kind and that is surely what we should all be about!  
As I left her she spoke for the last time  "God sent you to me today. Thank you"  
No thanks were needed.......it was a privilege. 

Chaos...again.

There is a man working up a ladder cutting the top of the hedge level.....he is directly opposite the bedroom window so I waved to him as I got dressed! The cleaner arrives shortly.....followed by the man coming to valet my car.

Two men are doing something noisy to the stone barn immediately behind us.....the small courtyard is full....no idea where the rest are going to park!

Canons to the right of them, canons to the left......not really that's just the way it feels.

It is of course all my fault.....poor organisation at the very least but actually my head is in the wrong place this morning for any of this.....

As I contemplated the chaos outside I suddenly remembered why, why I today am in shambolic mode.

My son, Adrian would have been 51 today!

David said cheerfully as he went downstairs, "He didn't look it."

He didn't. Which made his sudden death all the more shattering. The good thing is that I will always remember the brown, laughing boy gently teasing me with his daft stories and his loving lovely ways as a young man, not one bowed with age like the rest of us.

I've had my cry. Now to try to find solutions to the parking problem outside.

Rest in peace my lovely boy.

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Skinner and Skinner

As always when I'm doing a midweek communion I look in the book "Exciting Holiness" to see whose saints day it is. There is always something of interest to talk about. Not a sermon, it's just a two minute natter about the saint of the day.

In the past we have covered some diverse people, including women and there is always something to catch the attention of the small group of regulars who turn up after being picked up by David. This group is expanding, we are now considering a double trip, one lot to be dumped before returning for the next group.

Looking for today's Saint I see there isn't one!

June 13 is innocent of saints so I went to yesterday's date and found there were two for that date!

John Skinner and John Skinner are father and son.

Scottish Episcopalians they spent some time in prison together when the younger John was only nine.

The fathers crime was conducting worship! Oops!

Father and son locked up together made a bond never broken and the son followed in his fathers footsteps, becoming the Bishop of Aberdeen in 1782!

The Thursday old ladies will love that one....I know I do!

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